I’ve been a Mummy for 14 and a half years now and I can tell you that I’ve learnt A LOT! Through the lessons I have been learn, I’ve experienced every emotion under the sun. With theses lessons has come change, not only in myself as a mummy, but myself as a person.
Here’s some of the things I have learnt over the years. I’ve got a feeling as parents we will ALL be able to relate to these regardless of our parenting styles.
Before you even have your child…
- Once you announce your pregnancy EVERYONE you come across including strangers WILL have an opinion regarding parenting. Everyone will feel that they can and will give you what they think is helpful advice and criticism relating to your unborn baby, child or children. You will feel confused, doubt yourself and wonder why am I doing this? I believe this is to prepare you for the stress your child will bring in the future. This is how the mass cult of parenthood welcomes you. Once you have experienced this you have a firm right of passage into the wonderful world of being a Mummy.
- You can not prepare for parenthood. No matter how many books you read, videos you watch, web sites you research or other mums you talk to, NOTHING can prepare you for being a Mummy. Nothing can prepare you for labour, sleepless nights, projectile baby vomiting, cracked nipples, crying babies, that talking about your babies bowel movements will become a main topic of conversation with your fellow mummies.
- That you will turn into THAT Mummy! Interpret it as you may. But I can promise you that you will turn into THAT Mummy at some point in your parenting journey. You will be your child’s number one fan, you will stand up for your child, be an advocate to your child’s needs. Only the best for your child will do and you WILL make sure they get it!
No One Is Perfect
- Perfect babies and children DO NOT exist. Every child is individual and unique in their own way. No two are the same. Each child has their own unique qualities and these should be embraced and celebrated. There are going to be kids in your child’s class that will achieve higher than your child or that will always get picked for the school play. Don’t feel disheartened. Be proud of every achievement your child makes, no matter how big or small.
- At some point in your parenting journey your child WILL hate you. You will be the worst Mum in the world. Believe me you become tolerant to it. Over the years this used to upset me but then I realised I have to teach my children life lessons and sometimes saying No maybe cruel and unfair at the time but in years to come a lesson will have been learnt and your child will grow as a person.
Hurry UP! We Are Going To bE Late
- Kids are NEVER in a hurry. You have something planned and need to leave the house at a certain time. I can guarantee that a child will need a wee, can’t find their shoes/coat or both, need to grab their favourite toy that they haven’t bothered with for like 2 years that will be at the bottom of the toy box. I seriously advise you leave the house at least an hour before you had planned just to leave on time.
- When you do a clear out of old and unused toys, your child will ALWAYS want the toys in the pile that you are planning to give away or sell.
Another thing to add to the list
- Your to do list will be never ending. Chores to catch up on, people to call or text back, meals to cook, appointments, to sew that button back on a school shirt etc. That rare moment you do cross everything off your list something else will always crop up, it has to…its Mummy’s law!
- Baby wipes will become your best friend and a life saver. You will use them for cleaning EVERYTHING. Bums, hands, faces, makes on walls, spills, dust, remove make up; the list is endless.
- Your child will bring you to your knees…literally. Searching for missing bits of toys and games under the sofa, playing horsey rides, kneeling over them in bed when they won’t sleep, praying that the kids don’t find you hiding in the toilet- please say i’m not the only one that does this.
- One day you will look your child in the eye. Literally. You will not be looking down on them anymore. You will stand side by side and be eye level. A few months back, I realised I was doing this with my 14 year old son, Cameron. It scared the living daylights out of me. Thinking ‘OMG where has my baby gone’. They grow up too fast. Cameron now towers over me. He is the one looking down on me.
Please Don’t Cry
- This one makes me so sad. Time passes so fast. Embrace every cuddle you can get. Never underestimate the power of a hug. If your child wants a cuddle, stop what you’re doing (within reason, of course) and give them a cuddle, a massive, long squeeze. Spend time together, make time for your child. Time means more than material things ever could. In the early years they were always by our sides, needing us. We were at their beck and call. We were their number one. As the years pass they get older they will become more independent and will be able to look after themselves. They will want to do less with you, they will want to do their own things with friends.
Social Life! What Social Life?
- Your child will have a better social life than you, fact! You won’t have time for anything because you will be a Mum’s Taxi. Your child will have more party invites than Paris Hilton, playdates, after school clubs and classes. Honestly, by the time you’re done ferrying your child around you will be so tired that you would prefer a date with your bed than a bottle of Prosecco.
- Alcohol and kids DO NOT mix. Just like they say, don’t mix your drinks. I seriously advise not to mix alcohol with kids. This is something I can not hack. Imagining having 5 boys and a hangover isn’t worth thinking about…No thank you.
White Is A bIG no-no!
- Wearing white around children should be avoided at all costs. I have found white is a child magnet. It draws them in, seems to some how make you more appealing and increases their need to touch you. You will get dirty.
- Not sure if this applies to mums of girls but being a mum of 5 boys you get used to naked bodies running around the house. I’ve found boys like to be free. Once a boy has found his ‘bits’ shall we say there is no going back, they will find every opportunity to play with it.
- You get to recognise the sound of your child’s farts and if they have followed through and a nappy change is imminent.
Oh No! I’ve Turned Into My Mum!
- You WILL turn into your Mum and the respect you will have for her. You will realise what your own mum had to put up with. You will reflect on how you were as a child and pass on your life lessons your mum taught you onto them. You will also find yourself saying those little phrases your mum used to say to you as a kid. ‘Don’t make me come over there’, ‘Stop that this instant!’, ‘I am the parent and you are the kid’, ‘I am going to count to three’, ‘I love you’. To name but a few.
- Life is full of exceptions. You know when you tell your child not to do something but then they can only do it under certain circumstances.
- You will find that you acquire the skill to multitask. You will find that this will become second nature. You won’t realise you’re doing it. My favourite was breastfeeding one child and making dinner for my family. Once you know how, it’s easy.
Superwoman needs a break
- You can’t always be superwoman. Don’t be ashamed or afraid to ask for help. You can say No.
So, there you have it. Some things I have learnt since becoming a Mum. Being a parent is Testing, knackering, emotional but just as amazing too.
I’d love to hear about what you’ve learnt since becoming a Mum or Dad.
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