Parenting – The Unwritten Rules
Let’s all face it, as parents at some point on our parenting journey’s; we’ve all experienced criticism regarding our parenting and how we ‘should’ raise our children. Majority of this ‘advice’ is given to us when we haven’t even asked for it. It’s upon the other persons inspection, them speaking their mind.
People telling us how we ‘should’ be parenting our kids. The way we ‘should’ be feeding them. The type of nappies we ‘should’ use. Telling us how to discipline our children when they are having a tantrum in public. Telling us the ‘old wives tales’ about if we do something or other it’s guaranteed to be the best thing ever for our children.
Even after having 5 children myself, people ‘try’ to give me, shall we call it ‘critical advice’ regarding my children. I kindly remind them that I will take it their ‘advice’ into consideration, but do they actually know my children and explain to them that not every child follows those parenting textbooks. You know, the ones where a baby feeds every 4 hours from birth, sleeps through the night by 6 weeks and never cries. In reality, that just doesn’t happen from some parents.
They mean well…
I know that some people do actually mean ‘well’ by their comments and advice, but maybe if they didn’t make it seem like we aren’t good enough and make us doubt ourselves. Because I don’t know about you, but thats how I felt. That I was doing it ALL wrong.
I’ve now got to a point now that when I work with professionals such as health visitors and GP’s for my children they actually say, ‘well you have had 5 children, I trust your judgement’, that I’ve even taught them a thing or two from my experiences. I don’t know everything about parenting, but i do know how to parent MY children. Which is a huge change in attitude from when I was a single young mum of 2. Back then, I was seen as the ‘over exaggerated’ inexperienced mother.
At the end of the day we all want to to do the right thing for our children, by having their best interests at heart. We want to feel like are, actually doing our best for them without being pulled down by others and their opinions.
So, to give us as parents a Positive boost, I asked some of my fellow bloggers to tell me their
ONE RULE OF PARENTING
Here they are….they have some pretty awesome, useful, realistic and experienced based ‘advice’
- Remember that we are all doing our best https://katykicker.com
- Be the person you want your child to be and you wont go wrong. We are all winging it. www.ouralteredlife.com
- Forget anything anyone ever told you about parenting! Https://autismkidsontour.com
- When you mess up, as you will, say sorry, have a cuddle and move on www.diaryofafirstchild.com
- Everyone will judge no matter what you choose to do, so do what you want to do and remember there’s no right or wrong way to parent https://www.lyliarose.com
THERE’S NO RIGHT OR WRONG
- Trust your gut instinct! Www.cossinsmusicschool.co.uk/blog
- Listen to your child. What ever age they are and how ever they communicate, tears, anger, shouting or laughter. Let them know they’re feelings and emotions are valid www.aslummymummy.com
- Be consistent and follow the same paths as husband and wife (partners). http://popitha.com/
- Spend less money and more time. Your children will thank you for it – one day www.mummyandmoose.co.uk
- Never give in. It will only make it harder in the future. www.householdmoneysaving.com
- Find your tribe. Parenting can be a lonely and isolating at times, finding fellow kindred spirits can be a life saver. Www.mightymamabear.com
- Talk and listen to your child, their point of view is no less valid than yours. Www.jodhpursformaisie.com
- Try not to be hard on yourself when you get it wrong. No parent is perfect. www.timeandpence.com
‘No parent is perfect’
- Never compare yourself to other parents or your kids to their kids. Embrace your family the way it is! www.welshmum.co.uk
- Always have wine in the fridge and chocolate in the cupboard …www.fivelittledoves.com
- Boundaries boundaries boundaries. There’s no need to be strict but once they have the run of the house, you’ll never get it back. They need to know what to expect.
- Try to enjoy the little things, because before you know it, they’ll be grown ups. Always remind yourself that the bad stuff is ‘just a phase.’ Colic? Just a phase. Tantrums? Just a phase. Fussy eating? Just a phase. Growing pains in the middle of the night? It’s just a phase. https://www.lecoindemel.com
- Just do you. Read the books if you want, ask friends, search the net, seek advice from parents but at the end of the day, listen to your instincts and follow your own parenting path. Https://pinkpearbear.com
- Tomorrow is another day. Sometimes you get it wrong but as long as they’re healthy and they know you love them then it’s all OK. www.motherdistracted.co.uk
TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY
- Be clear. The kids need to understand why they should or shouldn’t do something. Www.epsandamy.co.uk
- You and your partner should take some time for yourselves once in a while. It’ll do you both the world of good. Www.onehullofadad.co.uk
- Make sure you make the time to spend quality time with your kids. They grow up so quickly. Far far too quickly:( They will treasure memories with you far more than materialistic items. www.travellovingfamily.com
- Don’t take it to heart when they tell you you’re the worst mum in the world! Https://fredddiesmummyuk.com
- Never give up. When I ask my kids “what don’t we do in this house” they always reply “don’t give up!!” Same for goes for Mums; never give up no matter how tough it gets, or how wrong you think you might be getting it. Https://mummymamamum.com
- Don’t go to bed without telling your child you love them, no matter how challenging they might have been that day… http://www.mummyalarm.co.uk
- Practice patience and tolerance www.tripletdad.blog
- Pick your battles carefully. Some things can slide whereas others just can’t. To save coming across as a nag, you have to choose very carefully which to prioritise. This way they are more likely to take it on board…. here’s hoping anyway!! Kizmetcava.uk
I hope that these ‘One Rule Of Parenting’ have given you some positivity and confidence that you’re not alone.
Why not check out my story Story Of A Young Mum 15 Years On
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